I remembers when i tried to adress boys pulling braids, punching and lifting the skirts of girs in elementary school, i was met with "they fancy you and don't know how else to express it". And i was baffled of why boys aren't taught to express it differently. Instead girls were taught to excuse it and endure it.
I got SO SO SICK of hearing, "He's a jerk (I'm paraphrasing) because he LIIIIIKES you." It excuses bad behaviour in boys and teaches girls that abuse means love. It's also not always true. My worst bully in high school was a boy and I don't think he had a thing for me for most of the two years he abused me, although toward the end I kind of wondered. He seemed to treat me better and said and did things that made me wonder...I even asked his frenemy (who didn't bear him ill will) if he thought this guy had a crush on me and he wasn't sure either. Had this guy made a move he would have been slapped down big-time.
'Boys will be boys'? I have sometimes responded with 'False rape allegations- Girls will be girls, tee hee!'
As usual, you are so right on. Abusive men are weak, pathetic bullies. So are abusive women. Neither has the social or emotional skills to do anything else. Men are more likely to act out physically and women are more likely to bully their partners with manipulation or verbal abuse. But both are capable of all of the above and more. But violence is worse because people can be maimed or killed before they get the chance to grow a pair and stop accepting abuse as normal.
If only good parenting like the kind you received from your mother were more common. Sigh.
I remembers when i tried to adress boys pulling braids, punching and lifting the skirts of girs in elementary school, i was met with "they fancy you and don't know how else to express it". And i was baffled of why boys aren't taught to express it differently. Instead girls were taught to excuse it and endure it.
I got SO SO SICK of hearing, "He's a jerk (I'm paraphrasing) because he LIIIIIKES you." It excuses bad behaviour in boys and teaches girls that abuse means love. It's also not always true. My worst bully in high school was a boy and I don't think he had a thing for me for most of the two years he abused me, although toward the end I kind of wondered. He seemed to treat me better and said and did things that made me wonder...I even asked his frenemy (who didn't bear him ill will) if he thought this guy had a crush on me and he wasn't sure either. Had this guy made a move he would have been slapped down big-time.
'Boys will be boys'? I have sometimes responded with 'False rape allegations- Girls will be girls, tee hee!'
As usual, you are so right on. Abusive men are weak, pathetic bullies. So are abusive women. Neither has the social or emotional skills to do anything else. Men are more likely to act out physically and women are more likely to bully their partners with manipulation or verbal abuse. But both are capable of all of the above and more. But violence is worse because people can be maimed or killed before they get the chance to grow a pair and stop accepting abuse as normal.
If only good parenting like the kind you received from your mother were more common. Sigh.