Do I even have to count the ways? Okay, fine, I will. I've compiled a list. Just think about it, America. What have you got to lose? This may be your last shot at living in a civilized country!
#3: I agree Trump’s tariffs are bad policy, but this is a great exaggeration we’re very far away from starving, thank you!
#2: This I couldn’t agree more with. America is definitely more conservative than Canada and the Republican Party in the United States is defintely farther right than the Conservatives in Canada. As a Rockefeller Republican I resonate with this critique. I can’t wait for the day the GOP becomes a big-tent, center-right party again.
#4: I don't care about ancient history. That was a hundred years ago. Okay, eleventy-one years go. Slavery was like over 200 years ago.
#3: Yes, it's a great exaggeration...intentionally ;)
Wanna become a Canadian? Think your state will vote to join Canada? :)
#1: Trudeau may be an authoritarian ratbastard, but he's still gorgeous :) (My mother used to say Moammar Gaddafi was super-sexy, this was back in the '70s before he started resembling a drag queen or maybe your maiden auntie. She was embarrassed about it ;) )
P.S. I'll admit I think Michael Cohen is super-hot...and so does my neighbour :)
LOL the whole damn article is a joke! With a few intentional jabs in there. So far no one's commenting on "united we stand, divided you fall." That was meant for real.
An excellent piece of satire, Labia! You are what the Onion and National Lampoon Magazine used to be! Just for fun however, I’ll give my own thoughts on your argument and I’ll totally own you when I think your wrong. ;)
#10: To be sure you’ve got many pretty people in Canada. No argument there, but we’ve got just as many! I see your Justin Bieber, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, and Rachel McAdams and will raise you Elvis Presley, James Dean, Cary Grant, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCapiro, Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Megan Fox, Julia Roberts, Demi Moore, Sally Field, John Wayne, Paul Newman, Diane Lane, Kate Upton, Halle Berry, Jimmy Stewart, Steve McQueen, Robert Redford, Clark Gable, Rock Hudson, Julie Newmar, Hedy Lamarr, and Justin Timberlake.
9#: To be sure, Canada’s healthcare system overall is far superior to the United States’ you’ll get no argument from me on that point. However, the United States is number one in terms of quality of care. But in individual categories like emergency care, specialist care, survival rates, and advances in medical science, the United States is the best in the world.
#8B: Okay, on this one to be sure it is a positive thing Canada has legalized, taxed and regulated marijuana and they have done so much faster than the U.S. where there are still many states where it is not yet legal and the drug war rages on. But let’s keep in mind that marijuana as indicted by new research, is not as safe as one might think:
#6: No question Canada is far ahead of the United States when it comes to abortion rights. The overturning of Roe v. Wade was absolutely shameful! Red states have imposed serious restrictions on abortion. No doubt, we have work to do to get abortion laws back to where they need to be.
#5: Again, no question Canada has much less gun violence than the United States. We need to pass comprehensive gun reform laws in this country and we need to do MUCH more to protect our students and staff at schools, so they don’t feel like their risking their lives when they get on the school bus or pull out of their driveway in the morning.
#4: This too I feel is a broad generalization. Yes, I’m sure there are many kind Canadians but there are also a lot of kind people in the United States. I wouldn’t say you guys are any nicer or more polite than we are. Plus if you guys are so nice how do you explain this guy?
Boy oh boy, the quickest way to piss off Americans is to insult their looks (or threaten to take away their potash :) )
I haven't used the US healthcare system in twenty years (end of this month, actually) but it's hard to argue the quality of healthcare is better when you spend more time arguing with your insurance company than recuperating. Okay, I'm slagging off the US a lot but it's never as brilliant or wonderful as it thinks, and I felt that way *before* ever even thought of leaving. The Canadian healthcare system has many challenges too, but at least for now...it's working.
These decoupling rags do no good and some (small amount of) harm. They only make it harder for the peasants to kiss and make up once the kings lay down arms (tariffs) and shake hands, promising their countries will face the future together in renewed friendship and unbridled optimism.
Ordinary people should know better than to do the lemming leap after their fickle pols. Public figures (does that count Substackers?) taking extreme positions on either side of the border will all be looking like fools in short order.
I expect, actually, the US and Canada will be fighting together side-by-side sooner than either would like to think if actual war breaks out. Not between our two countries specifically, but if China and Russia pull some imperalist shit. Or the US, if it does invade Greenland, and I'm not so sure they won't.
I found this more insulting than amusing, especially as I've also read numerous articles giving the equivalent argument for Canada joining the US (which did NOT opt to constantly insult Canadians), but whatever.
I do quibble with the accuracy of "You won't starve" though. Canada had higher food insecurity than the US as recently as 2022 and the 2023 numbers are pretty much within the margin of error after accounting for differences in methodology. A less than 1% lead when applying the Canadian standard to both countries doesn't mean much when applying the US standard to Canada shifts more than a percent there from insecure to secure. It's basically a wash.
I also checked food price increase projections for each country in 2025. The US is projecting a 3.3% increase, whereas Canada is predicting a 3-5% increase. This suggests that food insecurity will increase by slightly more in Canada this year than in the US, all other things being equal.
I wouldn't trust US numbers. Have you seen who's running the government???
No, you wouldn't starve...well, not all of you. The poor certainly would as they wouldn't be able to afford the insane food prices. And they *would* be much, much higher.
Shrug. I made a point of including the rebuttal from a Canadian source giving the most pro-Canada numbers I could find. Even there it's less than a percent different and only even that in 2023. There doesn't seem to be any dispute that Canada's food insecurity was worse than the US in 2022.
Whether you trust the US government or not, Canada's own most partisan comparison against the US doesn't show them with anything more than a very small, very recent, likely very temporary lead on the metric, and it's pretty indisputable that Canada's economy is in worse shape than the US both currently and in projections for the next few years. We'll see what the new Prime Minister does soon enough, but nothing I've seen suggests that the next administration will be doing anything significantly different or better on food insecurity than the last one. I'll honestly be a little surprised if the US doesn't retake the lead within the next year or two on this metric.
Okay fair enough, I missed the Canadian link. Food insecurity is something both countries have an issue with, but my 'you won't starve' comment was a snide comment in reference to the fact that we've got a lot of potash and the US actually buys an awful lot from us. Talking heads here have spoken about how screwed the US would be if we stopped selling them potash. I don't know that we'd do that...it really could impact food availability...we'd probably, if things got really nasty, hit the US with high oil tariffs or even an embargo first. Potash directly affects agriculture. We don't actually want to cause a famine.
Ok, this is seriously funny. I think you need rehearse it and then take your show on the road. You could kick off the tour at the Wayne Gretzky Restaurant in downtown Toronto. I’d book you in Lansing, but I don’t recommend crossing the border to the US right now. I’d hate to see your pretty Canadian face staring out from a Salvadoran prison.
Well, I have no plans to visit the US any time soon, and that may include Thanksgiving this year. We'll see how things go. I *do* have an American passport so they *have* to let me in, and I have my letter of citizenship from Canada so they have to let me back in. But yeah, point taken, I could still experience some real drama at the border. If I don't feel safe enough to go in November...or I'm too pissed at the Ignited States to come...I'll stay home. My bro' and my SIL can come visit *me* ;)
I don’t blame you. I have told my daughter not to come here while this is going on. I would worry for her safety as a Canadian and as the daughter of an immigrant with an unusual- sounding ethnic name.
You do have a bit of a problem with firebombing synagogues and shooting into Jewish schools, not to mention some anti-jew disturbances during your recent NATO get-together (and please, don't give the "anti-zionist" pseudodistinction)
#4: What have you got to say about these as well?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internment_of_Ukrainian_Canadians
https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/browse/people/politics-law/criminals-and-outlaws
https://humanrights.ca/story/story-black-slavery-canadian-history
#3: I agree Trump’s tariffs are bad policy, but this is a great exaggeration we’re very far away from starving, thank you!
#2: This I couldn’t agree more with. America is definitely more conservative than Canada and the Republican Party in the United States is defintely farther right than the Conservatives in Canada. As a Rockefeller Republican I resonate with this critique. I can’t wait for the day the GOP becomes a big-tent, center-right party again.
#1: Really?
https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.6566567
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Justin_Trudeau_controversies
https://torontosun.com/news/national/the-scandals-missteps-and-affairs-that-defined-the-trudeau-decade
#4: I don't care about ancient history. That was a hundred years ago. Okay, eleventy-one years go. Slavery was like over 200 years ago.
#3: Yes, it's a great exaggeration...intentionally ;)
Wanna become a Canadian? Think your state will vote to join Canada? :)
#1: Trudeau may be an authoritarian ratbastard, but he's still gorgeous :) (My mother used to say Moammar Gaddafi was super-sexy, this was back in the '70s before he started resembling a drag queen or maybe your maiden auntie. She was embarrassed about it ;) )
P.S. I'll admit I think Michael Cohen is super-hot...and so does my neighbour :)
Just to be clear Labia, these are half-joking. No ill will intended here! 😁
LOL the whole damn article is a joke! With a few intentional jabs in there. So far no one's commenting on "united we stand, divided you fall." That was meant for real.
An excellent piece of satire, Labia! You are what the Onion and National Lampoon Magazine used to be! Just for fun however, I’ll give my own thoughts on your argument and I’ll totally own you when I think your wrong. ;)
#10: To be sure you’ve got many pretty people in Canada. No argument there, but we’ve got just as many! I see your Justin Bieber, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, and Rachel McAdams and will raise you Elvis Presley, James Dean, Cary Grant, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCapiro, Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Megan Fox, Julia Roberts, Demi Moore, Sally Field, John Wayne, Paul Newman, Diane Lane, Kate Upton, Halle Berry, Jimmy Stewart, Steve McQueen, Robert Redford, Clark Gable, Rock Hudson, Julie Newmar, Hedy Lamarr, and Justin Timberlake.
9#: To be sure, Canada’s healthcare system overall is far superior to the United States’ you’ll get no argument from me on that point. However, the United States is number one in terms of quality of care. But in individual categories like emergency care, specialist care, survival rates, and advances in medical science, the United States is the best in the world.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-55581006.amp
https://kffhealthnews.org/news/commonwealth-study-on-health-care/amp/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15647193/
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/articles/2017-06-16/us-leads-world-in-scientific-research-output-but-dominance-shrinking-study?context=amp
In fact, wealthy foreigners often come to the U.S. for care that isn’t available at home: https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(18)30620-X/fulltext#:~:text=The%20value%20of%20the%20entire,year%20is%20approximately%20%24439%20billion.&text=3-,Braverman%20B.,for%20medical%20care%20this%20year.
#8A: This I think is a broad generalization, it’s important to remember that the social safety net in the United States looks different from state to state: https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-social-safety-net-looks-different-in-every-state/
#8B: Okay, on this one to be sure it is a positive thing Canada has legalized, taxed and regulated marijuana and they have done so much faster than the U.S. where there are still many states where it is not yet legal and the drug war rages on. But let’s keep in mind that marijuana as indicted by new research, is not as safe as one might think:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qBRaI0ZeAf8&pp=ygUaV2UgaGF2ZSB0byB0YWxrIGFib3V0IHdlZWQ%3D
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XkNuGsaZB4c&pp=ygUdZHIuIHBoaWwgbWFyaWp1YW5hIGRpc2N1c3Npb24%3D
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1GVfocVgJGI&pp=ygUdZHIuIHBoaWwgbWFyaWp1YW5hIGRpc2N1c3Npb24%3D
#7: Really?
https://ppforum.ca/publications/polarization-democracy-canada/
https://www.mediatechdemocracy.com/all-work/mass-polarization-in-canada-whats-causing-it-why-should-we-care
https://angusreid.org/canada-centrism-extremism-political-spectrum-left-wing-right-wing-poilievre-trudeau/
#6: No question Canada is far ahead of the United States when it comes to abortion rights. The overturning of Roe v. Wade was absolutely shameful! Red states have imposed serious restrictions on abortion. No doubt, we have work to do to get abortion laws back to where they need to be.
#5: Again, no question Canada has much less gun violence than the United States. We need to pass comprehensive gun reform laws in this country and we need to do MUCH more to protect our students and staff at schools, so they don’t feel like their risking their lives when they get on the school bus or pull out of their driveway in the morning.
#4: This too I feel is a broad generalization. Yes, I’m sure there are many kind Canadians but there are also a lot of kind people in the United States. I wouldn’t say you guys are any nicer or more polite than we are. Plus if you guys are so nice how do you explain this guy?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Neill_Cream
Also, how you explain the following?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internment_of_Japanese_Canadians
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_Indian_residential_school_system
https://www.thefp.com/p/explosion-of-jew-hate-in-canada-trudeau-israel-palestine
Boy oh boy, the quickest way to piss off Americans is to insult their looks (or threaten to take away their potash :) )
I haven't used the US healthcare system in twenty years (end of this month, actually) but it's hard to argue the quality of healthcare is better when you spend more time arguing with your insurance company than recuperating. Okay, I'm slagging off the US a lot but it's never as brilliant or wonderful as it thinks, and I felt that way *before* ever even thought of leaving. The Canadian healthcare system has many challenges too, but at least for now...it's working.
These decoupling rags do no good and some (small amount of) harm. They only make it harder for the peasants to kiss and make up once the kings lay down arms (tariffs) and shake hands, promising their countries will face the future together in renewed friendship and unbridled optimism.
Ordinary people should know better than to do the lemming leap after their fickle pols. Public figures (does that count Substackers?) taking extreme positions on either side of the border will all be looking like fools in short order.
I expect, actually, the US and Canada will be fighting together side-by-side sooner than either would like to think if actual war breaks out. Not between our two countries specifically, but if China and Russia pull some imperalist shit. Or the US, if it does invade Greenland, and I'm not so sure they won't.
I see your grasp of geopolitics is every bit as impressive as your ideas about human relations and social development.
Well, I'm sorry, I just don't have time for Jordan Peterson's take ;)
I found this more insulting than amusing, especially as I've also read numerous articles giving the equivalent argument for Canada joining the US (which did NOT opt to constantly insult Canadians), but whatever.
I do quibble with the accuracy of "You won't starve" though. Canada had higher food insecurity than the US as recently as 2022 and the 2023 numbers are pretty much within the margin of error after accounting for differences in methodology. A less than 1% lead when applying the Canadian standard to both countries doesn't mean much when applying the US standard to Canada shifts more than a percent there from insecure to secure. It's basically a wash.
https://www.gzeromedia.com/gzero-north/graphic-truth-food-insecurity-and-poverty-in-the-us-canada
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8970993/#:~:text=Results,6.0%25%20with%20the%20US%20scheme.
https://proof.utoronto.ca/2024/responding-to-comparisons-of-food-insecurity-statistics-in-canada-and-the-us/#:~:text=Applying%20Canada's%20classification%20threshold%20to,compared%20to%2022.9%25%20of%20Canadians.
I also checked food price increase projections for each country in 2025. The US is projecting a 3.3% increase, whereas Canada is predicting a 3-5% increase. This suggests that food insecurity will increase by slightly more in Canada this year than in the US, all other things being equal.
I wouldn't trust US numbers. Have you seen who's running the government???
No, you wouldn't starve...well, not all of you. The poor certainly would as they wouldn't be able to afford the insane food prices. And they *would* be much, much higher.
Shrug. I made a point of including the rebuttal from a Canadian source giving the most pro-Canada numbers I could find. Even there it's less than a percent different and only even that in 2023. There doesn't seem to be any dispute that Canada's food insecurity was worse than the US in 2022.
Whether you trust the US government or not, Canada's own most partisan comparison against the US doesn't show them with anything more than a very small, very recent, likely very temporary lead on the metric, and it's pretty indisputable that Canada's economy is in worse shape than the US both currently and in projections for the next few years. We'll see what the new Prime Minister does soon enough, but nothing I've seen suggests that the next administration will be doing anything significantly different or better on food insecurity than the last one. I'll honestly be a little surprised if the US doesn't retake the lead within the next year or two on this metric.
Okay fair enough, I missed the Canadian link. Food insecurity is something both countries have an issue with, but my 'you won't starve' comment was a snide comment in reference to the fact that we've got a lot of potash and the US actually buys an awful lot from us. Talking heads here have spoken about how screwed the US would be if we stopped selling them potash. I don't know that we'd do that...it really could impact food availability...we'd probably, if things got really nasty, hit the US with high oil tariffs or even an embargo first. Potash directly affects agriculture. We don't actually want to cause a famine.
Grow some brains.
Struck a nerve? Or would you like become One of Us, gooble gobble! ?
Ok, this is seriously funny. I think you need rehearse it and then take your show on the road. You could kick off the tour at the Wayne Gretzky Restaurant in downtown Toronto. I’d book you in Lansing, but I don’t recommend crossing the border to the US right now. I’d hate to see your pretty Canadian face staring out from a Salvadoran prison.
Just sayin’.
Well, I have no plans to visit the US any time soon, and that may include Thanksgiving this year. We'll see how things go. I *do* have an American passport so they *have* to let me in, and I have my letter of citizenship from Canada so they have to let me back in. But yeah, point taken, I could still experience some real drama at the border. If I don't feel safe enough to go in November...or I'm too pissed at the Ignited States to come...I'll stay home. My bro' and my SIL can come visit *me* ;)
I don’t blame you. I have told my daughter not to come here while this is going on. I would worry for her safety as a Canadian and as the daughter of an immigrant with an unusual- sounding ethnic name.
Oh yeah, part you-know-what. THAT will go over well at the border with your daughter :(
You do have a bit of a problem with firebombing synagogues and shooting into Jewish schools, not to mention some anti-jew disturbances during your recent NATO get-together (and please, don't give the "anti-zionist" pseudodistinction)