BTW, I have to believe that Haidt won’t touch the trans issue with a ten foot pole because if he did it would discredit him to so many people and limit his audience. But there’s no way, in my opinion, that someone who’s done all the research he has doesn’t see it. I’m actually glad he doesn’t address it because there’s a chance my kid would be open to his message, but if he was a known gender critical voice she would completely discount everything he says.
Interesting observation. What does she think about his social media is harmful message? If she's amenable to it, maybe you can persuade her to spend less time on social media. I really do think we'd *all* do well to stay off social media more. I'm on it only a little, mostly so I have time to write. I was on it a LOT more before I started writing seriously, and I was a lot more miserable.
I have a liberal friend who fell down the left-wing conspiracy theory rabbit holes over the pandemic, and he's become a much angrier, more easily triggered person because of it ;(
I haven’t yet been able to get my daughter to read Haidt’s book, but at least it’s a possibility. I look for opportunities to expose her to messages that I think might be helpful for shifting her mindset without making it obvious that I’m trying to influence. I have his book and it’s on my list of things to mention when the opportunity comes up to work it into conversation.
A few months ago when I was reading it - the hardcover edition - I made sure to hold it up on the subway so people could see the title. I noticed a few young people looking at it curiously. No one said anything to me, but I hope I made them curious.
I hope your daughter comes around. BTW, you might find this helpful, if you haven't seen it already:
Eliza Mondegreen is the author, and it delves into the similarity between the religious cults in days of yore (which I mentioned, but didn't get into, I have elsewhere) and how much the trans movement acts as a cult, and dissects exactly why, and who's attracted to such cults the most. Hopefully you'll find it useful in understanding your daughter better!
I’m a conservative parent who has one conservative kid and one college-age kid who identifies as trans. I will admit it’s hard to read all of this and examine what part I may have played in my daughter’s descent down the rabbit hole.
In the hope that others can avoid my experience, I’ll share some things I wish I’d done differently.
Number one is social media. At 14, my daughter was too immature and subject to manipulation for social media. She knew not to post personal information, or friend people she didn’t know. What I didn’t know to warn her about was brainwashing - I thought my kids were far too smart and sensible to allow anyone to influence their views like that.
Another thing I wish I’d done is find an activity or organization that would give her a sense of belonging, meaning, and accomplishment. Whether it’s a religious group, a sports team, or something else, it needs to be a place where they feel they belong, where they have a community and an identity.
I wish I’d been more attuned to her social distress, instead of assuming she’d figure out her own way through. I should have moved her to a different school at the first sign, and I should have dug deeper into what was going on and how she was feeling.
Maybe I should have helped her fit in better. She was a quirky kid who always went her own way. Should I have coached her more on fitting in with peers?
Although I was unaware at the time of a lot of the beliefs of transgender ideology, if I could go back now I would have made it clear that I strongly disagree with those beliefs and believe that people who transition are doing harm to themselves.
Thanks for sharing a conservative mom's take on a trans kid - I figured they were out there but I couldn't find anything much about conservative trans kids. One observation, NOT a criticism: I wonder if she was rebelling against a conservative family? Rebellion is oh-so-typical for kids no matter what families they're in. A liberal ex-hippie, ex-Yippie friend of mine who has sadly passed on raised one daughter who's very liberal and a son who enlisted in the military and fought in Afghanistan and Iraq, and has since become a cop. When he first enlisted I asked my friend if she knew what was going on with that and she said, 'Rebellion, big time.' And John Walker Lindh, the 'American Taliban' who was captured from the Afghanistan War? He was from a heavily liberal family. I got the distinct impression his conversion to Islam and later, to radical Islam, was heavily influenced by rebellion.
I think you're a PITT Substack subscriber, are you not? I think I recognize you. I unsubscribed a few months ago mostly because the stories of trans kids were beginning to sound fairly the same, although I think it's a great support group for parents of trans kids.
It's a cult, and you didn't know...just as generations before missed the countless cults hippie kids got sucked into, and not just the 'Jesus freaks'. Political ideologies aren't much different from religious ones, and both can be turned into a cult.
I hope it works out with you and your child. Fingers crossed that maybe she'll outgrow it. Thanks again for being brave enough to share.
Do you know of any groups where con parents either share their problems with trans kids, or share how to keep their kids from getting sucked into it, esp if they can't afford to send them to non-public schools? I would love to know more about how con parents are fighting this.
Thanks. Yes, I’m a PITT subscriber. I notice that the parents there seem to be a range of liberal to conservative. I agree the stories all sound alike, but that’s kind of how you know it’s a social contagion/cult. I’m not aware of any support spaces specifically for conservatives. I should also mention that I’m conservative-ish. I’ve always been kind of moderate/centrist/libertarian. My husband is more politically conservative but neither of us are extremely socially conservative, if that makes sense. So I don’t think my daughter was rebelling against strict conservatism, because we weren’t that. I have heard the suggestion, and I think there may be some truth to it, that if parents are kind of easy-going and aren’t going to get too upset over hairstyles or clothes, that kids who feel the need to rebel may choose gender because they know it will upset their parents when less extreme things might not.
Interesting idea. Although my mother let my brother and I drink alcohol sometimes under certain specific circumstances when were underage (a brandy snifter of wine at Christmas, maybe Thanksgiving, a little beer here and there) figuring if they didn't make it forbidden we wouldn't be tempted to get smashed with friends. It probably worked, although I might not have done that anyway because my friends were 'good' kids who didn't drink and we never got invited to parties because we were all dorks :) And, the few times I went to any I thought the whole getting-smashed thing was just dumb and didn't prove you were grown up any more than smoking ciggies. But, yeah, it wasn't forbidden, I wasn't impressed with it, so I didn't go nuts when I was a teenager.
I'm thinking Dem youth are also more prone to anxiety and depression because they're more clued in, more aware of social injustice and the difficulty in changing entrenched systems. They tend to care more about society as a whole. Young Cons may be high on disingenuous rhetoric and silo thinking, similar to their parents. Many of them don't seem to care about those beyond their family and immediate tribe. When life is good for THEM, life is good.
I can agree with this up to a point, having been a young liberal adult (my political consciousness didn't really start forming until high school senior year) and I can remember being afraid of what was going on in the world and ESPECIALLY of dying in a nuclear war, which was a very real threat and in fact we came moments away from it several times (and yeah, I know about the Petrov thing!)
But, I wouldn't blanket conservatives so much. Mostly because it's those on the far right you're describing, who bear a lot of resemblance to our own whack jobs on the far left, who are also guilty of a lot of that. Also, I'm not at all convinced anymore that our young turks are all that concerned about social justice, frankly, so much as they just need enemies to hate and spew venom at.
The social media link is hard to deny. It's not the *only* reason why liberal kids' mental health is worse, but it has a lot to do with it. I really think lack of control in progressive families could be explored more. Strictness AND loving - regardless of which side of the divide one is on. The cons probably err more on the side of strictness. I couldn't find too much about con parenting when I was researching this, but I'll keep an eye out. There's plenty to criticize there too...although the kids I knew who were messed up tended to come from fundamentalist religious homes.
Thank you Dave! I haven't read the whole thing but I saved it. It might be more of a skim for me as I read the WPATH Files and it looks like there's a lot of overlap but that it details the role of the US government in covering up the facts and lack of evidence behind this crap.
A very disturbing trend. I have heard privately of horrifying stories of parents caught up in gender theory who manipulate their children’s identities until they get lost in the trans cult. This cannot lead to any kind of emotionally balanced existence.
BTW, I have to believe that Haidt won’t touch the trans issue with a ten foot pole because if he did it would discredit him to so many people and limit his audience. But there’s no way, in my opinion, that someone who’s done all the research he has doesn’t see it. I’m actually glad he doesn’t address it because there’s a chance my kid would be open to his message, but if he was a known gender critical voice she would completely discount everything he says.
Interesting observation. What does she think about his social media is harmful message? If she's amenable to it, maybe you can persuade her to spend less time on social media. I really do think we'd *all* do well to stay off social media more. I'm on it only a little, mostly so I have time to write. I was on it a LOT more before I started writing seriously, and I was a lot more miserable.
I have a liberal friend who fell down the left-wing conspiracy theory rabbit holes over the pandemic, and he's become a much angrier, more easily triggered person because of it ;(
I haven’t yet been able to get my daughter to read Haidt’s book, but at least it’s a possibility. I look for opportunities to expose her to messages that I think might be helpful for shifting her mindset without making it obvious that I’m trying to influence. I have his book and it’s on my list of things to mention when the opportunity comes up to work it into conversation.
Thank you! Yes, Eliza is one of the best writers on the topic and this article is already saved to my list of “things I wish my daughter would read“.
A few months ago when I was reading it - the hardcover edition - I made sure to hold it up on the subway so people could see the title. I noticed a few young people looking at it curiously. No one said anything to me, but I hope I made them curious.
I hope your daughter comes around. BTW, you might find this helpful, if you haven't seen it already:
https://genspect.org/gender-as-a-body-modification-youth-subculture/
Eliza Mondegreen is the author, and it delves into the similarity between the religious cults in days of yore (which I mentioned, but didn't get into, I have elsewhere) and how much the trans movement acts as a cult, and dissects exactly why, and who's attracted to such cults the most. Hopefully you'll find it useful in understanding your daughter better!
I’m a conservative parent who has one conservative kid and one college-age kid who identifies as trans. I will admit it’s hard to read all of this and examine what part I may have played in my daughter’s descent down the rabbit hole.
In the hope that others can avoid my experience, I’ll share some things I wish I’d done differently.
Number one is social media. At 14, my daughter was too immature and subject to manipulation for social media. She knew not to post personal information, or friend people she didn’t know. What I didn’t know to warn her about was brainwashing - I thought my kids were far too smart and sensible to allow anyone to influence their views like that.
Another thing I wish I’d done is find an activity or organization that would give her a sense of belonging, meaning, and accomplishment. Whether it’s a religious group, a sports team, or something else, it needs to be a place where they feel they belong, where they have a community and an identity.
I wish I’d been more attuned to her social distress, instead of assuming she’d figure out her own way through. I should have moved her to a different school at the first sign, and I should have dug deeper into what was going on and how she was feeling.
Maybe I should have helped her fit in better. She was a quirky kid who always went her own way. Should I have coached her more on fitting in with peers?
Although I was unaware at the time of a lot of the beliefs of transgender ideology, if I could go back now I would have made it clear that I strongly disagree with those beliefs and believe that people who transition are doing harm to themselves.
Thanks for sharing a conservative mom's take on a trans kid - I figured they were out there but I couldn't find anything much about conservative trans kids. One observation, NOT a criticism: I wonder if she was rebelling against a conservative family? Rebellion is oh-so-typical for kids no matter what families they're in. A liberal ex-hippie, ex-Yippie friend of mine who has sadly passed on raised one daughter who's very liberal and a son who enlisted in the military and fought in Afghanistan and Iraq, and has since become a cop. When he first enlisted I asked my friend if she knew what was going on with that and she said, 'Rebellion, big time.' And John Walker Lindh, the 'American Taliban' who was captured from the Afghanistan War? He was from a heavily liberal family. I got the distinct impression his conversion to Islam and later, to radical Islam, was heavily influenced by rebellion.
I think you're a PITT Substack subscriber, are you not? I think I recognize you. I unsubscribed a few months ago mostly because the stories of trans kids were beginning to sound fairly the same, although I think it's a great support group for parents of trans kids.
It's a cult, and you didn't know...just as generations before missed the countless cults hippie kids got sucked into, and not just the 'Jesus freaks'. Political ideologies aren't much different from religious ones, and both can be turned into a cult.
I hope it works out with you and your child. Fingers crossed that maybe she'll outgrow it. Thanks again for being brave enough to share.
Do you know of any groups where con parents either share their problems with trans kids, or share how to keep their kids from getting sucked into it, esp if they can't afford to send them to non-public schools? I would love to know more about how con parents are fighting this.
Thanks. Yes, I’m a PITT subscriber. I notice that the parents there seem to be a range of liberal to conservative. I agree the stories all sound alike, but that’s kind of how you know it’s a social contagion/cult. I’m not aware of any support spaces specifically for conservatives. I should also mention that I’m conservative-ish. I’ve always been kind of moderate/centrist/libertarian. My husband is more politically conservative but neither of us are extremely socially conservative, if that makes sense. So I don’t think my daughter was rebelling against strict conservatism, because we weren’t that. I have heard the suggestion, and I think there may be some truth to it, that if parents are kind of easy-going and aren’t going to get too upset over hairstyles or clothes, that kids who feel the need to rebel may choose gender because they know it will upset their parents when less extreme things might not.
Interesting idea. Although my mother let my brother and I drink alcohol sometimes under certain specific circumstances when were underage (a brandy snifter of wine at Christmas, maybe Thanksgiving, a little beer here and there) figuring if they didn't make it forbidden we wouldn't be tempted to get smashed with friends. It probably worked, although I might not have done that anyway because my friends were 'good' kids who didn't drink and we never got invited to parties because we were all dorks :) And, the few times I went to any I thought the whole getting-smashed thing was just dumb and didn't prove you were grown up any more than smoking ciggies. But, yeah, it wasn't forbidden, I wasn't impressed with it, so I didn't go nuts when I was a teenager.
I'm thinking Dem youth are also more prone to anxiety and depression because they're more clued in, more aware of social injustice and the difficulty in changing entrenched systems. They tend to care more about society as a whole. Young Cons may be high on disingenuous rhetoric and silo thinking, similar to their parents. Many of them don't seem to care about those beyond their family and immediate tribe. When life is good for THEM, life is good.
I can agree with this up to a point, having been a young liberal adult (my political consciousness didn't really start forming until high school senior year) and I can remember being afraid of what was going on in the world and ESPECIALLY of dying in a nuclear war, which was a very real threat and in fact we came moments away from it several times (and yeah, I know about the Petrov thing!)
But, I wouldn't blanket conservatives so much. Mostly because it's those on the far right you're describing, who bear a lot of resemblance to our own whack jobs on the far left, who are also guilty of a lot of that. Also, I'm not at all convinced anymore that our young turks are all that concerned about social justice, frankly, so much as they just need enemies to hate and spew venom at.
The social media link is hard to deny. It's not the *only* reason why liberal kids' mental health is worse, but it has a lot to do with it. I really think lack of control in progressive families could be explored more. Strictness AND loving - regardless of which side of the divide one is on. The cons probably err more on the side of strictness. I couldn't find too much about con parenting when I was researching this, but I'll keep an eye out. There's plenty to criticize there too...although the kids I knew who were messed up tended to come from fundamentalist religious homes.
The Alabama brief before the Supreme Court. A must read m:
https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/23/23-477/328275/20241015131826340_2024.10.15%20-%20Ala.%20Amicus%20Br.%20iso%20TN%20FINAL.pdf
Thank you Dave! I haven't read the whole thing but I saved it. It might be more of a skim for me as I read the WPATH Files and it looks like there's a lot of overlap but that it details the role of the US government in covering up the facts and lack of evidence behind this crap.
A very disturbing trend. I have heard privately of horrifying stories of parents caught up in gender theory who manipulate their children’s identities until they get lost in the trans cult. This cannot lead to any kind of emotionally balanced existence.