I am so sick of women complaining about “blaming the victim” when people suggest warning young women about abuse and possible rape. You can warn them about bad men and also slam the men for their bad behaviour; it’s an equal opportunity situation.
I'm now reading "But He Says He Loves Me!" by Dina McMillan, the gal in the TED talk I referenced. She takes an *entirely* preventive approach, saying we wait too long to tell women how to avoid getting into abusive relationships - we wait until they're in one, or just getting out of one. It's an excellent book that lets you see how the mind of an abuser thinks, as well as what women themselves need to know. I know a lot of it already but it's still giving me a much fuller view of how abusers operate, and I still do learn some surprising new things, like that some of these men do real research in how to control women/people better through learning leadership techniques, psychology books, even books on how to avoid abusers, although men seem to develop these techniques all over the world without ever reading anything. Since the vast, vast, majority of men I've known go through life completely clueless about women despite being in an ocean of information about us, it was quite surprising to me to find out that some men actually research this stuff.
If only they'd put that effort into something more productive, like being better partners themselves.
That is astounding! Women need to read this book and take back their power.
The book review shall be forthcoming ;)
I am so sick of women complaining about “blaming the victim” when people suggest warning young women about abuse and possible rape. You can warn them about bad men and also slam the men for their bad behaviour; it’s an equal opportunity situation.
I'm now reading "But He Says He Loves Me!" by Dina McMillan, the gal in the TED talk I referenced. She takes an *entirely* preventive approach, saying we wait too long to tell women how to avoid getting into abusive relationships - we wait until they're in one, or just getting out of one. It's an excellent book that lets you see how the mind of an abuser thinks, as well as what women themselves need to know. I know a lot of it already but it's still giving me a much fuller view of how abusers operate, and I still do learn some surprising new things, like that some of these men do real research in how to control women/people better through learning leadership techniques, psychology books, even books on how to avoid abusers, although men seem to develop these techniques all over the world without ever reading anything. Since the vast, vast, majority of men I've known go through life completely clueless about women despite being in an ocean of information about us, it was quite surprising to me to find out that some men actually research this stuff.
If only they'd put that effort into something more productive, like being better partners themselves.