In order to reduce domestic violence, one must first recognize and challenge the source, and those who agree to it. The latest campaign misses the mark, as usual.
I feel you are being too hard on the victims re your "after the first strike..." comment. The reasons women don't "just leave" are well established: financial dependence, staying to protect someone even more vulnerable (child/sibling), perception that this state is normal - since many victims grow up in circumstances that accustoms them to such dynamics. The greatest possible help to victims would be cheap and plentiful availability of housing...
The major life lesson I have learned is that the predominant basis of male behaviour is seeking of esteem from other men within their milieu. Teen boys learn to dominate women because they acculturate to believing this establishes their masculine credentials within their conspecific group. One grown-into such a mindset the man will act this way through life, and pass on the pathology to the next generation. In that context targeting men with the message is correct - but too late when it occurs past teenagehood.
The biggest hole I see in protecting women from violence in nations like Australia is the willful blindness about it indigenous communities. There is a very astute academic Stephanie Jarrett who has written on this subject.
We have so far to go on this issue. I remember becoming aware of domestic violence in the ‘70s when I was a teenager. Women were truly unable to get support in those times; they were victims of abusive partners. I have read about and heard horror stories. But it’s like we just can’t let go of that narrative; it’s almost like if we acknowledge any agency on women’s parts, we will immediately be sucked back to that horrific reality.
It’s time to create a new, more nuanced narrative. Young women need to be explicitly taught to avoid certain dysfunctional behaviors that contribute to a mindset of helplessness and victimization. They need to be told to leave abusers at the first red flag. Passiveness leads to harm for one’s self and others.
Everyone needs to stop being afraid of the false power of aggressiveness. It’s an expression of weakness, not strength. This is true of society as a whole, not just women in unbalanced relationships.
Stand up to the bullies and stop giving them permission to dominate everyone.
I feel you are being too hard on the victims re your "after the first strike..." comment. The reasons women don't "just leave" are well established: financial dependence, staying to protect someone even more vulnerable (child/sibling), perception that this state is normal - since many victims grow up in circumstances that accustoms them to such dynamics. The greatest possible help to victims would be cheap and plentiful availability of housing...
The major life lesson I have learned is that the predominant basis of male behaviour is seeking of esteem from other men within their milieu. Teen boys learn to dominate women because they acculturate to believing this establishes their masculine credentials within their conspecific group. One grown-into such a mindset the man will act this way through life, and pass on the pathology to the next generation. In that context targeting men with the message is correct - but too late when it occurs past teenagehood.
The biggest hole I see in protecting women from violence in nations like Australia is the willful blindness about it indigenous communities. There is a very astute academic Stephanie Jarrett who has written on this subject.
We have so far to go on this issue. I remember becoming aware of domestic violence in the ‘70s when I was a teenager. Women were truly unable to get support in those times; they were victims of abusive partners. I have read about and heard horror stories. But it’s like we just can’t let go of that narrative; it’s almost like if we acknowledge any agency on women’s parts, we will immediately be sucked back to that horrific reality.
It’s time to create a new, more nuanced narrative. Young women need to be explicitly taught to avoid certain dysfunctional behaviors that contribute to a mindset of helplessness and victimization. They need to be told to leave abusers at the first red flag. Passiveness leads to harm for one’s self and others.
Everyone needs to stop being afraid of the false power of aggressiveness. It’s an expression of weakness, not strength. This is true of society as a whole, not just women in unbalanced relationships.
Stand up to the bullies and stop giving them permission to dominate everyone.
Thanks for another great reality-check article.