Acceptance of reality means understanding you were abused. It can happen to men too. It's not funny or cute. And God help us all, it is NOT 'offensive' for men to speak out.
Parental disaffection or alienation is a common phenomenon in marriage breakups with people where one or more has an antisocial personality disorder. The psychological and legal consequences for the children can be catastrophic. The incidence of these antisocial personality disorders is increasing. After a while (maybe half a lifetime) you get to recognise them. Some kind of spidey sense for dirtbags. It makes no difference if you are male, female, or other. Not in my experience.
I have been through some of the crap described above. You get over it by finding meaning in your own life and damn the torpedos.
Such a powerful story. I hope Jim’s wife didn’t succeed in completely alienating his children from him. His wife sounds so much like the abusive women I have known. In one of your other articles you write about how abusive men have an impenetrable “wall of entitlement.” Well this woman has a wall of entitlement that could rival Trump’s or the Great Wall of China. Truly breathtaking.
Jim, if you are reading this I congratulate you for getting out of this toxic, dangerous situation. And I do mean dangerous. She could have driven you to suicide and then laughed her way to the bank as she cashed the life insurance check. And then got everyone’s sympathy as the grieving widow.
Believe it or not, this is not the only story of husband abuse I have heard. And this is just people I know personally. How many more are out there that nobody will talk about?
Another bone to pick, I’m so sick of hearing from feminists about how we are living in a patriarchal society. If America is still a patriarchy, how is it that this woman got away with this? Why didn’t the courts allow Jim to take his children and only allow Nicole to see them when he felt like it? That’s the rule in Iran-an ACTUAL , literal patriarchy.
As usual, when one generation identifies oppression, the next generation swings too far in the opposite direction. We have to balance divorce and custody laws in the United States. And we have to start seeing that women are as capable of abuse as men. They just go about it differently.
Thank you. And yes, you're right about balancing family law.
I do have a relationship with my kids, despite my ex's best efforts. She's used a lot of the typical tactics:
Have parties for the kids, don't invite the dad, tell the kids it's the dad's fault he didn't show.
Refusing to let me see the kids on my weekends then took me to court to try to take away my time because I wasn't using it when she wouldn't let.
Those two often took place on the same weekend.
Refuse to answer the phone when I call them on Holidays/birthdays and tell them I didn't call.
Etc.
Fortunately both girls have phones now so that makes it easier.
It's gotten to the point where I no longer acknowledge her existence out of a need for self defense, since she once sent me a series of abusive texts then reported me to the court because I didn't respond. (Apparently, refusing to respond to abuse is abusive, at least to Nicole. Give the court this much: They laughed at her when she reported it.)
Yeah, things haven't gotten better between me and her. I guess I never really expected them to, though.
The good news is that my oldest is a legal adult now and I no longer need to go through Nicole or the courts to see her. Her little sister will be thirteen in a few weeks though, so I've still got a minute until I get that point with her and can cut Nicole out of my life completely.
This is even worse than the people I know. She is truly evil. I’m so glad you can eventually be dead to you and that she did not succeed in her campaign of parental alienation. It takes a strong person to triumph over a monster like your ex.
Parental disaffection or alienation is a common phenomenon in marriage breakups with people where one or more has an antisocial personality disorder. The psychological and legal consequences for the children can be catastrophic. The incidence of these antisocial personality disorders is increasing. After a while (maybe half a lifetime) you get to recognise them. Some kind of spidey sense for dirtbags. It makes no difference if you are male, female, or other. Not in my experience.
I have been through some of the crap described above. You get over it by finding meaning in your own life and damn the torpedos.
Amen, brother.
Such a powerful story. I hope Jim’s wife didn’t succeed in completely alienating his children from him. His wife sounds so much like the abusive women I have known. In one of your other articles you write about how abusive men have an impenetrable “wall of entitlement.” Well this woman has a wall of entitlement that could rival Trump’s or the Great Wall of China. Truly breathtaking.
Jim, if you are reading this I congratulate you for getting out of this toxic, dangerous situation. And I do mean dangerous. She could have driven you to suicide and then laughed her way to the bank as she cashed the life insurance check. And then got everyone’s sympathy as the grieving widow.
Believe it or not, this is not the only story of husband abuse I have heard. And this is just people I know personally. How many more are out there that nobody will talk about?
Another bone to pick, I’m so sick of hearing from feminists about how we are living in a patriarchal society. If America is still a patriarchy, how is it that this woman got away with this? Why didn’t the courts allow Jim to take his children and only allow Nicole to see them when he felt like it? That’s the rule in Iran-an ACTUAL , literal patriarchy.
As usual, when one generation identifies oppression, the next generation swings too far in the opposite direction. We have to balance divorce and custody laws in the United States. And we have to start seeing that women are as capable of abuse as men. They just go about it differently.
Thank you. And yes, you're right about balancing family law.
I do have a relationship with my kids, despite my ex's best efforts. She's used a lot of the typical tactics:
Have parties for the kids, don't invite the dad, tell the kids it's the dad's fault he didn't show.
Refusing to let me see the kids on my weekends then took me to court to try to take away my time because I wasn't using it when she wouldn't let.
Those two often took place on the same weekend.
Refuse to answer the phone when I call them on Holidays/birthdays and tell them I didn't call.
Etc.
Fortunately both girls have phones now so that makes it easier.
It's gotten to the point where I no longer acknowledge her existence out of a need for self defense, since she once sent me a series of abusive texts then reported me to the court because I didn't respond. (Apparently, refusing to respond to abuse is abusive, at least to Nicole. Give the court this much: They laughed at her when she reported it.)
Yeah, things haven't gotten better between me and her. I guess I never really expected them to, though.
The good news is that my oldest is a legal adult now and I no longer need to go through Nicole or the courts to see her. Her little sister will be thirteen in a few weeks though, so I've still got a minute until I get that point with her and can cut Nicole out of my life completely.
This is even worse than the people I know. She is truly evil. I’m so glad you can eventually be dead to you and that she did not succeed in her campaign of parental alienation. It takes a strong person to triumph over a monster like your ex.