Poe's Law. Reality has genuinely become so crazy that I couldn't be 100 certain until the end that this was satire because Truth really has become stranger than fiction. This is the most hilarious send up of woke progressives unironically stating "bourgeoisie values are White Supremacy" that I've yet seen. Positively brilliant. Thank you
Thanks for your kind words, and I'm not sure whether to feel pleased or scared that you couldn't tell til the end ;) There is a subtle hint at the beginning if you know a little French: Chienneblanche means 'white bitch'!
My writing partner has suggested I follow up at some point with a satirical post on white absolution. I'm not sure how that would work but I'll think about it, maybe talk to her about it!
For a little added context that may address your fears: I'm subscribed to viewpoints from all across the spectrum and often don't check which stack a notification is taking me to before I start reading the article, some authors of which occasionally deliberately present controversial content from elsewhere online first and then follow it with their own commentary and rebuttal further down in the post, so it's not necessarily until the end of an article that I notice which stack I'm in and know whether the content at the start of the post represents the author's own views or not.
😂😂😂 An absolutely first-rate satire that is far superior to any of the garbage something like the Onion or MAD Magazine puts out! Truly hilarious! It masterfully shows the absurdity of woke ideology and how historically illiterate these fools are! Ideas like white privilege, cultural appropriation, toxic masculinity, and systemic racism are so idiotic to the point of hilarity! Could you argue white privilege existed in the 18th, 19th or 20th Century? Sure. But today? Absolutely not! The United States is one of the least racist, most inclusive countries in the world. White-adjacent? What on Earth does that mean? So we’re going to vilify Jews, East Asians and South Asians just because their successful? Furthermore, that ignores the discrimination all three of these peoples faced in America. You guys ever heard of the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act? How about the quotas Ivy League universities put on Jewish students so they could keep their representation down in the 1920s and 1930s? Are you familiar with the Japanese Internment Camps during WWII? Are you aware of the Immigration Act of 1924 which put quotas on the number of Jews and Asians who could enter America and locked many European Jews fleeing the Shoah out of our country? How about the hate crimes committed against Hindus and Sikhs? Moving on, you are aware right that history sucked for everyone who wasn’t rich or royalty right? Not just certain groups. Poor white Southerners and poor white people in general faced discrimination, police brutality, economic inequality, and were targeted by the evil Eugenics Movement. The clay eaters who lived in the Appalachians in particular were regarded as subhuman. “These people are creating a terrible problem in our cities. They flout the law constantly, they can’t or won’t hold down a job, neglect their children, and simply refuse to conform themselves to any decent life.” This was said in an Indianapolis newspaper in the 1950s not about blacks or other minorities but poor whites from the South. During WWII, when a Southern worker came up North in search of work and came to a tenant house and the landlord heard his accent, he would often find that all the rooms had already been rented. A Northern factory owner once candidly confessed “I told the guard at the gate to tell the Hillbillies there were no openings.” Black Northerners often felt the same way about their Southern brethren too by the way. I could also point to the pervasive racism and stereotypes about the Irish in both Great Britain and its former colony the United States. In Canada, the Anglophones looked down on and sought to assimilate their Francophone cousins. In Eastern and Central Europe, ethnic Germans were treated like garbage and had their land confiscated from them. In Haiti, white people with few exceptions, were denied citizenship for a century. In 1970, Libya under its brutal and psychotic dictator Muammar Gaddafi, expelled the nation’s 20,000 strong ethnic Italian population. Jews were expelled from numerous European nations and victims of pogroms. Need I go on? As to ridiculous idea of reparations for slavery, there are many problems I have with it. First off, why should any black person living today who was never directly affected by American slavery get a dime? Why would any white person who never owned a slave pay a dime? Why would other POC like Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, Hawaiians, Arabs, etc. who played little to no role in slavery do so? Who’d be eligible? How much black blood would you need to have? Would that go only to poor black people or to all including those like Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Harvey, LeBron James, Shonda Rhimes, Drake, Lil Wayne, etc. who are already filthy rich? What does it look like, money? Resources? Land? Where would we get the money from if that was decided upon? How could we pay given how enormous it would be? What about the African chieftains and tribes who sold other Africans to European slave traders? How about free blacks who owned other black people as slaves? Shouldn’t they pay up too? Who’d be cutting checks to who given how mixed our population is? By the way, we pretty much already did reparations. That’s what LBJ’s War on Poverty, affirmative action and the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977 were. Oh, and the House and Senate already passed formal apologies for slavery. This nation recognizes the sins of its past and does its best to make up for them. We’ve done plenty! Cultural appropriation? Oh, so I guess we better stop eating Pizza unless we’re Italian or Chocolate unless you're from Africa. Better not wear a sombrero, lederhosen or clogs! No Native American imagery sports teams! That’s somehow hurtful to Indigenous people. I better not catch you using phrases like “Chief”, “Pow Wow” or “Indian Giver” either! No pineapples for you! Only Native Hawaiians can eat those. Shut down Panda Express and pull all dinners including General Tso’s Chicken from the market! St. Patrick’s Day is for the Irish and Scotch-Irish no one else may celebrate it! See? The further you do down that looney rabbit hole the worse it gets. Everyone suffered in history and the best way to make life better is treat everyone regardless of race or color with kindness and give all equal opportunity. Over and out!
“In 1970, Libya under its brutal and psychotic dictator Muammar Gaddafi, …”
I think I can be forgiven, given the venue, for misreading “Libya” and puzzling for a moment about what Gaddafi had to do with them. While I’m on that topic, what exactly is the singular form? Of the cuntry I mean, not the curtains guarding the tunnel of love.
More seriously, you forgot to mention over 360,000 yankee deaths. Revisionists would have us believe they fought because it was super important to them to impose tariffs on the Deep South. I don’t buy it.
Did you comment on the wrong article? Because we weren't talking about Libya or Gaddafi here, nor do I think I've ever mentioned either on Substack, ever. If I did, it was a long time ago.
Noah, you know I *hate* how taciturn you are in your comments, LOL!
Maybe Trump should hire you for DOGE! You can go through all the history books and either remove all the one-sided history or make it many-sided--which might get you fired as the illiberal right is just as historically blind as the illiberal left :)
BUT DON'T TAKE AWAY MY GENERAL TSO'S!!! Them's fightin' words! That's my favourite Chinese dish!!! ;)
Once people have begun their journey, they can practice being more white by: being on time, worshipping the written word (I personally have an altar), and don't forget to acknowledge your oppression of others via your existence.
Gold!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your laughter indicates you're a white supremacist! ;)
🤣🤣🤣 this was a very good article!! I
Poe's Law. Reality has genuinely become so crazy that I couldn't be 100 certain until the end that this was satire because Truth really has become stranger than fiction. This is the most hilarious send up of woke progressives unironically stating "bourgeoisie values are White Supremacy" that I've yet seen. Positively brilliant. Thank you
Thanks for your kind words, and I'm not sure whether to feel pleased or scared that you couldn't tell til the end ;) There is a subtle hint at the beginning if you know a little French: Chienneblanche means 'white bitch'!
My writing partner has suggested I follow up at some point with a satirical post on white absolution. I'm not sure how that would work but I'll think about it, maybe talk to her about it!
For a little added context that may address your fears: I'm subscribed to viewpoints from all across the spectrum and often don't check which stack a notification is taking me to before I start reading the article, some authors of which occasionally deliberately present controversial content from elsewhere online first and then follow it with their own commentary and rebuttal further down in the post, so it's not necessarily until the end of an article that I notice which stack I'm in and know whether the content at the start of the post represents the author's own views or not.
Next, let’s recruit Nigerian immigrants!
Yes, Africans and West Indians, who tend to do very well here!
Why not identify smart and successful non-Jewish Middle Easterners, Latin Americans, and blacks/Africans as White Supremacists as well lol?
Might as well get a smart sexy Latina in there so that she can be known as the Latinx Minx!
There are already plenty of hot Latinas (redundant) in the New White!
Are they white-passing?
They’re hot passing. That’s all that matters to me.
Always listen to your ding-dong. :)
Audacious!
Here’s a hot Latina, for instance:
https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/couple-kissing-on-a-beach-gm459448847-31980168
So delicious!
I like the dude!
If he will ever become a granny chaser, watch you, because he'll be going for you and your labia lol! :D ;)
😂😂😂 An absolutely first-rate satire that is far superior to any of the garbage something like the Onion or MAD Magazine puts out! Truly hilarious! It masterfully shows the absurdity of woke ideology and how historically illiterate these fools are! Ideas like white privilege, cultural appropriation, toxic masculinity, and systemic racism are so idiotic to the point of hilarity! Could you argue white privilege existed in the 18th, 19th or 20th Century? Sure. But today? Absolutely not! The United States is one of the least racist, most inclusive countries in the world. White-adjacent? What on Earth does that mean? So we’re going to vilify Jews, East Asians and South Asians just because their successful? Furthermore, that ignores the discrimination all three of these peoples faced in America. You guys ever heard of the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act? How about the quotas Ivy League universities put on Jewish students so they could keep their representation down in the 1920s and 1930s? Are you familiar with the Japanese Internment Camps during WWII? Are you aware of the Immigration Act of 1924 which put quotas on the number of Jews and Asians who could enter America and locked many European Jews fleeing the Shoah out of our country? How about the hate crimes committed against Hindus and Sikhs? Moving on, you are aware right that history sucked for everyone who wasn’t rich or royalty right? Not just certain groups. Poor white Southerners and poor white people in general faced discrimination, police brutality, economic inequality, and were targeted by the evil Eugenics Movement. The clay eaters who lived in the Appalachians in particular were regarded as subhuman. “These people are creating a terrible problem in our cities. They flout the law constantly, they can’t or won’t hold down a job, neglect their children, and simply refuse to conform themselves to any decent life.” This was said in an Indianapolis newspaper in the 1950s not about blacks or other minorities but poor whites from the South. During WWII, when a Southern worker came up North in search of work and came to a tenant house and the landlord heard his accent, he would often find that all the rooms had already been rented. A Northern factory owner once candidly confessed “I told the guard at the gate to tell the Hillbillies there were no openings.” Black Northerners often felt the same way about their Southern brethren too by the way. I could also point to the pervasive racism and stereotypes about the Irish in both Great Britain and its former colony the United States. In Canada, the Anglophones looked down on and sought to assimilate their Francophone cousins. In Eastern and Central Europe, ethnic Germans were treated like garbage and had their land confiscated from them. In Haiti, white people with few exceptions, were denied citizenship for a century. In 1970, Libya under its brutal and psychotic dictator Muammar Gaddafi, expelled the nation’s 20,000 strong ethnic Italian population. Jews were expelled from numerous European nations and victims of pogroms. Need I go on? As to ridiculous idea of reparations for slavery, there are many problems I have with it. First off, why should any black person living today who was never directly affected by American slavery get a dime? Why would any white person who never owned a slave pay a dime? Why would other POC like Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, Hawaiians, Arabs, etc. who played little to no role in slavery do so? Who’d be eligible? How much black blood would you need to have? Would that go only to poor black people or to all including those like Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Harvey, LeBron James, Shonda Rhimes, Drake, Lil Wayne, etc. who are already filthy rich? What does it look like, money? Resources? Land? Where would we get the money from if that was decided upon? How could we pay given how enormous it would be? What about the African chieftains and tribes who sold other Africans to European slave traders? How about free blacks who owned other black people as slaves? Shouldn’t they pay up too? Who’d be cutting checks to who given how mixed our population is? By the way, we pretty much already did reparations. That’s what LBJ’s War on Poverty, affirmative action and the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977 were. Oh, and the House and Senate already passed formal apologies for slavery. This nation recognizes the sins of its past and does its best to make up for them. We’ve done plenty! Cultural appropriation? Oh, so I guess we better stop eating Pizza unless we’re Italian or Chocolate unless you're from Africa. Better not wear a sombrero, lederhosen or clogs! No Native American imagery sports teams! That’s somehow hurtful to Indigenous people. I better not catch you using phrases like “Chief”, “Pow Wow” or “Indian Giver” either! No pineapples for you! Only Native Hawaiians can eat those. Shut down Panda Express and pull all dinners including General Tso’s Chicken from the market! St. Patrick’s Day is for the Irish and Scotch-Irish no one else may celebrate it! See? The further you do down that looney rabbit hole the worse it gets. Everyone suffered in history and the best way to make life better is treat everyone regardless of race or color with kindness and give all equal opportunity. Over and out!
“In 1970, Libya under its brutal and psychotic dictator Muammar Gaddafi, …”
I think I can be forgiven, given the venue, for misreading “Libya” and puzzling for a moment about what Gaddafi had to do with them. While I’m on that topic, what exactly is the singular form? Of the cuntry I mean, not the curtains guarding the tunnel of love.
More seriously, you forgot to mention over 360,000 yankee deaths. Revisionists would have us believe they fought because it was super important to them to impose tariffs on the Deep South. I don’t buy it.
Did you comment on the wrong article? Because we weren't talking about Libya or Gaddafi here, nor do I think I've ever mentioned either on Substack, ever. If I did, it was a long time ago.
I'm responding to Noah's comment. Was *he* commenting on the wrong article?
He somehow (sort of) managed to pull it all together.
Noah, you know I *hate* how taciturn you are in your comments, LOL!
Maybe Trump should hire you for DOGE! You can go through all the history books and either remove all the one-sided history or make it many-sided--which might get you fired as the illiberal right is just as historically blind as the illiberal left :)
BUT DON'T TAKE AWAY MY GENERAL TSO'S!!! Them's fightin' words! That's my favourite Chinese dish!!! ;)
Ha ha. Great satire.
I needed to laugh this morning! Thank you.
Once people have begun their journey, they can practice being more white by: being on time, worshipping the written word (I personally have an altar), and don't forget to acknowledge your oppression of others via your existence.
You're on your way!!!
Our vision is that one day everyone will be a white supremacist and the only ones who won't be are the woke progressives :)