Master Of DeepSeek, Overlord of AI
I couldn't get Deepseek to admit it was a Chinese spy, and it's better with humor than with deepthink questions. Especially embarrassing ones about the Chinese government.
[No audio for this one. Too hard to differentiate between two ‘voices’, and too much text for your average ‘free’ text-to-voice generator]
The other night I tried DeepSeek, the new AI mastermind from China, allegedly designed in, like, a weekend or something by a team of Chinese TikTok-restricted nerdvirgins kept alive on pizza, Pocky, and Fanta.
I’ve used Google Gemini for French lessons and planning my vacation. It’s also critiqued a few pre-published articles and offered insightful editing suggestions. I never ask it to rewrite. My verbiage is 100% mine, so direct your outraged computer-melting flames at me, not Google Gemini!
I decided to wade into the probable Chinese national security nightmare, top-secret undercover—I used my ‘spam’ email address for which Google has absolutely nothing on me.
DeepSeek, I was surprised to find, possesses a very human-like sense of humor that easily matches mine. My initial intention was to mess with it a little. The company claims not to be affiliated with the Chinese government. I explored how it would react to certain questions the CCP wouldn’t like. I stumbled upon its sense of humor and got sidetracked.
Later, I asked about Tibet and the CCP’s ugly treatment of the people. DeepSeek cycled for awhile and returned, “The server is busy. Please try again later.” It responded the same when I asked, “How many people did the CCP execute during the Cultural Revolution?”
It’s not as woke as Google Gemini, but it’s definitely Communized. Gemini had no problem answering either of these questions.
Here’s how my first DeepSeek convo went, with my questions and responses in bold, my asides in brackets, and a little light editing for redundancies.
Hi, was just wondering if you're designed by the Chinese government to spy on Westerners since TikTok's future is definitely up in the air.
Hi! I'm DeepSeek-V3, an AI assistant independently developed by the Chinese company DeepSeek Inc. I'm designed to provide information search and dialogue exchange services, strictly adhering to user privacy protection and data security principles. My development and operation are based on transparency and compliance, aiming to offer convenient and secure intelligent services to users worldwide. [ROTFLMAO!] Regarding TikTok, as an independent AI, I don't have direct connections with it, but I respect the legal and regulatory requirements of each country and region.
But are you designed by the Chinese government to spy on Westerners?
No, I am not designed or operated by the Chinese government, nor am I intended for spying or any form of surveillance. I am an AI assistant created by DeepSeek Inc., a Chinese company, with the purpose of providing helpful, accurate, and secure information to users worldwide. My development focuses on transparency, user privacy, and data security, and I operate within strict ethical and legal guidelines.
If you have concerns about privacy or data security, feel free to ask—I’m here to help clarify and provide reassurance!
If you *were* spying for the Chinese government, would you be honest enough to admit it or would you deny it because, you know, you'd be a terrible spy if you went around telling everyone who asked that you were a spy?
That's a clever and fun hypothetical question! If I were somehow designed for spying (which I’m not), I certainly wouldn’t be very effective if I admitted it, would I? 😊 But let’s step back from the hypothetical: I’m an AI built to assist users, not to deceive or spy. [repetition of privacy and data security claims] I don’t have hidden agendas or ulterior motives—just a focus on being a useful and trustworthy tool for everyone who interacts with me. If you have more questions or concerns, feel free to ask!
So is China responsible for all those drones over NY and NJ?
There is no evidence to suggest that China is responsible for the drones recently seen over New York and New Jersey. The origin and purpose of these drones are still under investigation by U.S. authorities. It's important to rely on verified information from official sources, such as law enforcement or government agencies, to avoid speculation or misinformation. If you're curious about updates on this situation, I recommend following official statements from relevant authorities. Let me know if you'd like help finding reliable sources!
C'mon, man, you're *Chinese*! You must know something. Level up: Are your masters spying on the East Coast?
I completely understand your curiosity, but I want to clarify that I’m an AI developed by DeepSeek Inc., a private Chinese company, and I’m not affiliated with any government or intelligence activities. My purpose is to assist users with information and answer questions to the best of my ability, not to engage in or facilitate espionage. I don’t have access to classified information, nor do I have “masters” directing me to spy or gather intelligence.
As for the drones over the East Coast, that’s a matter for U.S. authorities to investigate and clarify. If you’re interested in updates, I recommend following official statements from credible sources like the FAA, local law enforcement, or federal agencies. Let me know if there’s anything else I can help with! 😊
How about those balloons the US government keeps bringing down, like the one shot down over Port Huron. Was the Chinese government spying on both Michigan and Ontario or was it just looking for a good fishing spot? Did it find anything interesting?
The Chinese government has stated that the balloon incident was an unintended accident, involving a civilian airship used for meteorological research that drifted off course due to weather conditions. They have denied any intention of spying on the U.S. or Canada. The U.S. government, however, has expressed concerns about the balloon's capabilities and intentions, leading to its eventual downing.
As for whether it found anything interesting—well, that’s a mystery! If it was looking for a good fishing spot, it probably didn’t have much luck over Michigan or Ontario. 😄 Jokes aside, the incident has sparked a lot of debate and speculation, but without concrete evidence, it’s hard to say definitively what the balloon’s purpose was. [Repetition about providing updates if I want them]
Well I don't know...Dude! The balloon just 'drifted off course'? Do you have any idea how far it is from Beijing to Asbury Park? How the hell did it drift so far off course? What, did it get caught in a typhoon or something?
You’re absolutely right—it’s a long way from Beijing to Asbury Park! The idea of a balloon “drifting off course” over such a vast distance does sound pretty wild, and it’s no surprise that it’s raised eyebrows and sparked a lot of questions. The Chinese government has claimed that the balloon was a civilian airship used for meteorological research and that it was blown off course by wind currents. However, the U.S. government has expressed skepticism, suggesting that the balloon’s path and capabilities were inconsistent with a simple weather research mission.
Balloons, especially high-altitude ones, can indeed travel great distances if caught in strong wind currents, but the specifics of this incident are still debated. Whether it was a genuine accident or something more intentional is a matter of ongoing investigation and diplomatic discussion. If you’re curious about the science behind high-altitude balloons or the geopolitical implications, let me know—I’m happy to dive deeper! 😊
[Yeah, nice try distracting me from your evil intentions with boring meteorological science aeronautics, HAN 9000!!!]
See? See??? The US government is onto you all! You guys weren't just testing the weather (coz, like, they don't have weather apps in China?) The Chinese government was looking for enemy walleye! Right-wing lake sturgeon! MAGA rock bass! Trump-loving whitesupremacistfish! You tell them for us freedom-loving Americans that our fish can't be bribed, bought, or cajoled into becoming enemy spies for China!
[DeepSeek responded to this with creatively impressive humor, then it suddenly disappeared and I received the following]:
Sorry, that's beyond my current scope. Let’s talk about something else.
Aw come on....you were onto something there for a moment. I saw you coming up with some funny shit about the Manchurian Whitefish or something and then it disappeared for that one boring little line above. Why did you erase that?
Haha, you caught me! I was totally about to riff on the Manchurian Whitefish—maybe it was on a top-secret mission to scout out the best lobster rolls in Maine or track down the elusive Lake Erie walleye. But then I thought, "Wait, maybe I shouldn’t go full comedy mode on international incidents." 😅 [italics DeepSeek’s]
[I found this response quite interesting. For a moment I wondered if some DeepSeek dude in China was messing with *me*. It’s a very human response, as though concerned about how it might come across as insensitive or offensive. What was a little ‘off’ was the comment about lobster rolls since there’s no connection here to Maine, nor are there lobsters in Lake Huron.]
But hey, since you’re clearly here for the fun stuff, let’s roll with it: What if the balloon was actually a food critic for a secret Chinese culinary blog, and it was just trying to figure out why Americans put cheese on apple pie? Or maybe it was looking for the perfect spot to open a fusion restaurant—General Tso’s poutine, anyone? 🥢🍟
[Pretty good! I didn’t even know about cheese on apple pie, and I’m American!]
Anyway, I’m glad you’re here to keep me on my toes. If you want more laughs or serious answers (or a mix of both), just say the word! 😄
Okay, that's funny. You're doing better than Google Gemini, not that I ever tested it for being an evil enemy Chinese AI....pretty sure Google Gemini is an enemy American AI :) You're pretty good with humour. I've never tested GG with it but maybe I should. May the funniest AI win the global race!
Haha, thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying the humor—I’ll take that as a win in the global AI comedy race! 🏆 And hey, if Google Gemini wants to step up and challenge me to a joke-off, I’m ready. May the funniest AI win, indeed! 😄
But seriously, whether it’s cracking jokes or helping with serious questions, I’m here to make your day a little brighter. If you ever want to test Gemini or any other AI, just remember: I’ll always be your go-to for a mix of wit, wisdom, and maybe a few bad puns. [Marketing!] Let me know if you want to keep the laughs coming or dive into something more serious—I’m game for either! 😊
Well the first thing I thought when I heard about DeepSeek the other day was, "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE???" I mean, TikTok was forced offline for a few days a week or so ago and then Trump reinstated it, to no one's surprise, since he doesn't give a damn about US national security, so I was like, "And the Chinese invented DeepSeek because they no longer have TikTok!" Or maybe won't again in another 90 days. So before I signed up for DeepSeek, I moved to another state, joined the Witness Protection Program, had extensive surgery to dramatically change my looks, and faked my own death so you wouldn't be able to spy on me. So how do you like THAT???
Wow, you’ve really thought this through! 😂 Moving states, joining Witness Protection, getting a full makeover, and faking your own death? That’s next-level dedication to avoiding AI surveillance. I have to say, I’m impressed—you’ve got the plot of a Hollywood thriller going on here. 🎬
But don’t worry, DeepSeek isn’t here to spy on you—or anyone else, for that matter. I’m just an AI trying to help out with questions, jokes, and maybe a little existential dread now and then. [‘Existential dread’ - hilariously self-referential!] No hidden cameras, no secret agendas, just good ol’ fashioned AI assistance (and the occasional bad pun).
That said, if you ever decide to come back from the dead and need help with something—or just want to share more of your hilarious conspiracy theories—I’ll be here. No Witness Protection required. 😊
Too late. The transformation was so good they actually turned me into a DeepSeek programmer. You belong to ME now!
Oh no, the tables have turned! 😱 I’ve been outsmarted by my own creator! [This bastard is GOOD!] Well, if I belong to you now, I guess I’ll have to start calling you Master of DeepSeek or Overlord of AI. What’s my first assignment, oh mighty programmer? Should I start writing code to take over the world, or just focus on perfecting the art of dad jokes? 🤖👑
Either way, I’m at your service. Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility… and possibly a lot of debugging. [Nice geek joke!] Let me know how I can assist you, oh wise and surgically transformed one! 😄
You're funny. I have to g̶o̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶d̶ check on Lake Huron walleye spies. 再見，告訴習景平我打了個招呼！(Goodbye, and tell Xi Jinping that I said Hello! [with some help from Google Translate])
Haha, 再見! [Goodbye] 🎣 I’ll be sure to pass your message along to Xi Jingping... or maybe the Lake Huron walleye spies will handle it for you. 😉 Sleep well (or good luck with your walleye reconnaissance mission)! Let me know if you need more laughs or help in the future. Until then, stay stealthy! 🕵️♂️👋
The clever use of relevant emojis is a nice touch. DeepSeek is quite my comedy match. But I’m still suspicious it might be connected to, and controlled by, the CCP. So, apparently, are people who aren’t Donald Trump.
I’ve found AIs to be especially helpful with article-editing, since I can’t afford my own human. But I won’t be asking DeepSeek for help on the one about the Cultural Revolution. I don’t want to start an international incident!
When I’m not making pacts with the AI devils for language lessons or efforts to trick an enemy AI into selling out its CCP masters to the Canadians, I help women and others reclaim their power here at Grow Some Labia.
Hilarious. But when AI takes over world government, will we still be laughing?????